In the Beginning (Part 2)

So last time we left off with me taking that full-on step into creepy fiction character life coaching stalkerdom.  (See full story)

So I sent Diane Gaidry a very wandery e-mail saying something like, “I just saw Loving Annabelle seven times and really enjoyed it.  I see now you’re life coaching in Buffalo and thought that sounded hippish intriguing.  I am an author, a very famous and credible one.  and it sounds like you’ve got a some interesting methods for revealing a person’s true character.  I’d be really interested in learning more.”  Then I added something to the effect that I wasn’t really sure what I was after, but it just seemed worth looking into.  (I was certain that was enough to tip her off to my creepy stalkerness.)

Then I sent it.

Then I regretted it.

Then she wrote back, telling me  a little bit about what a coach does and offered to do a sample session with me – in person.

Well, I was immediately wracked with guilt.  Maybe I hadn’t been clear enough, maybe I hadn’t oozed the amount of crazy I thought I had.  Surely if she knew I meant to use her hard work and expertise to life coach a fictional priest, she would have said thanks, but no thanks and started filling out the restraining order.

Despite Georgia’s advice to just go with it, I am a sweet Midwestern boi who could never really stalk someone under false pretenses. The least I could do was be totally honest with her.  So I wrote back and said, “I’m not really sure I’m looking for a life coach. I’m mostly looking for a new way to approach characters.  I’m actually a very fullfilled albeit crazy person and I know you’re trying to get a business off the ground, so if you’d rather not spend your valuable time on a creepy stalker someone who isn’t likely to be a client, I would totally understand.”

That did it.  Honesty abounds.  Not really looking for a coach, value her time, respect her as a person, assert my own sanity.  Back in control.  Until she wrote back and said (pretty direct quote here).  ”I trust that there are no coincidences and there is a reason that you contacted me and that  there is something to be gained for both of us in having a sample coaching session.”

*Squeee.  Faint.  Thud.*

Done and done.  I’m a sucker for things like that.   Plus all creepy stalker worries evaporate ’cause this meeting is like our destiny, some pre-ordained plan or something magnificent like that.  I am totally awesome and together and not creepy.  We are meant to meet and share our awesomeness with each other.  Georgia says, “I told you so.” I say all sorts of bad luck things like “Everything is going so well.  Life is on track. Destined for greatness. “

Then two days before going to Buffalo I have the worst… day… ever. Jackson’s crib is recalled for safety reasons and we have to drop everything to go get a new one. While in Buffalo I get backed into, and the woman who hits my driver’s side door with the back of her car tells the police officer it was clearly my fault (yes ma’am I drove my car sideways into your bumper) and starts a massive insurance battle.  On the interstate on the way home Jackson starts to vomit all over himself, our banged up car, and anything else within a three-foot radius.  I have to climb out my window (the banged up door won’t open) to get to him and strip us both down to our underclothes, then climb back through the window and drive home, without the crib, which was on back-order.  Then when I got home I had my first ever rejection notice waiting for me about the book I’d spent the last 8 months writing.   Worst. Day. Ever.

Diane e-mailed later that evening to confirm our meeting and reaffirm that there must be some good reason we were drawn together.  I knew she was right. That reason was clearly my impending nervous breakdown.

It also occurs to me that now might be a good time to discuss things with my wife.  I had up until this point mentioned that I’d contacted Diane at Georgia’s urging, to which Susie responded without looking up “You’re crazy, and Georgia’s a bad influence.”  Then I mentioned I might go up to do a sample session.  To which Susie says casually,  ”You’re such a creepy stalker.”  9 years together has desensitize her to my absurdities, and she’s no longer surprised by the depth of my craziness. So after the worst day ever I incoherently babble, “Diane says there are no coincidences and we are meant to meet for a reason, so I think I might need to be life coached and I’m going to go up there tomorrow.”  At that she finally put down her knitting and leveled her “you have got to be kidding me” gaze on me.

“This woman is not on your marital amnesty list,” she says coolly.

Me giggling nervously.  ”Well, no, I mean but Amelie Mauresmo has retired, so I was thinking about replacing her…”

Susie repeats calmly, “This woman is not on your marital amnesty list.”

“Right, right, got it. But other than that we’re good with me being a creepy stalker, maybe needing help with my writing, or maybe needing to be life coached.”

Susie, “You know I support you in whatever, go have fun…leave the checkbook at home.”

“Me, good call.  Credit cards too?”

Susie going back to her knitting,  “Absolutely.”

That’s my girl, always the realistic one who knows that while I am sweet and well meaning, I am not to be trusted with women or money.

So with the ground rules firmly established and my life starting to fray at the ends, I headed off to Buffalo for some yet undetermined reason fate and Georgia Beers had concocted for me to meet Diane Gaidry.

To be continued…

In The Beginning (part 1)

I’ve been trying to figure out how to start talking about my next release, LoveLife.  It’s kind of incredible to me how the whole thing came about, but really that’s also the issue with telling the story. The whole thing is kind of incredible.  It’s a rather wandering tale of events that will ultimately make an otherwise level-headed boi look like a new-agey, la la, creepy stalker before it all turns out in the wash.  It’s taken me weeks of trying to come up with a way to do this concisely and not look crazy in the process, but alas, the short and clean version of the story sounds trite and doesn’t convey my sense of wonder at the actual sequence of events, so in the name of art I’ve decided to give you the full story in ego-crushing detail.

It was late April of 2010, and Georgia Beers and I were in a deep discussion of  beautiful women our craft. You see Georgia had just gotten in touch with Erin Cummings and was all about contacting women who inspire us (see the full story).  She may have asked who my current crush was, or maybe I volunteered (We  share obsessive qualities, and it’s often hard to tell who started what).  Either way, I brought up the fact that I’d just watched Loving Annabelle multiple times and was crushing pretty hard on Simone, as played by Diane Gaidry.  Georgia found that very fitting (she’s familiar with my teacher fetish) and said she’d actually met Diane at a film festival.  According to Georgia’s report, aside from being exactly my type, Diane was also smart and very sweet, which pretty much did me in. I couldn’t help myself. I decided to do some cyber stalking research.

I went to the Google expecting to find other Diane Gaidry movies. Instead, I found that Diane was now working as a life coach just up the road from me in Buffalo. Internal warning bells sounded, Step away from the computer. Obsession reaching critical levels. Do not click on any more links.*  So I did what any strong, self-assured boi would do and asked Georgia what I should do.  Georgia, being a cool, level-headed, solid influence in my life said. “You have got to call her!”

No no no, I needed to back away, stop cyber stalking, stop talking to Georgia, and work on my book about a priest.  However, it turns out my priest character is a bad influence too, because she would not cooperate.  No matter what I wrote, she felt disjointed and disconnected, and no matter what character sketch I used, the woman I had in my head would not show up on the page. I was having a wretched time developing her as a character (There’s a lot of pressure when writing a priest).  I just needed to take a little break and watch Loving Annabelle again.

That night in a moment of weakness, I snuck back to Diane’s Life Coaching website, only this time I did less looking at pictures and more reading about life coaching.  I didn’t even really know what a life coach was. It sounded kind of fru-fru to me.  The Midwesterner in me rolled her eyes several times, but the idea of helping align values with actions and finding someone’s true path sounded like an interesting character development activity. Actually, the more I read, the less fruity it all seemed. Life coaching started to sound like exactly the kind of thing my priest character needed. Even at 2 am, I was self-aware enough to realize that I was contemplating putting a fictional character through life coaching, which was a particular brand of crazy I hadn’t yet encountered in myself, and it worried me.

I decided to be completely stoic and shove that insanity under the rug, so first thing in the morning I sent Georgia a detailed e-mail telling her all about it.  In grand friend fashion, she saw me for the creepy stalker I was and told me she thought it was a great idea.  She said I had to contact Diane.  I swore that the last thing I wanted to do was make an ass out of myself in front of a beautiful woman by revealing myself as a creepy stalker, and there was no way I was going to frighten Diane by telling her I wanted her to life coach a person I’d made up in my head…but then  that’s exactly what I did.

To be continued …

Cover Story

Lately I’ve been wondering a lot about how and when to start talking about my next release, LoveLife.   There’s just so much to tell about the way the book came about and my writing journey and the amazing characters and how they shaped me as much as I shaped them.  It’s a little overwhelming how much I want to say about this book.  Then there’s the issue of time, because April is still a long way off and I don’t want you to get sick of me going on and on about this book you can’t even read until April, or worse maybe if I start too early I’ll be tempted to give too much of it away because honestly I don’t want you to have to wait until April to meet these characters.

So I had resolved to wait a little longer, to plan my marketing approach wisely and set my timing skillfully. Then I got my cover for the novel this evening and all my good intentions went right out the window because really, how could I not share something as exciting as this?