Wonder Boi Writes

Guest Blogger: Ashley Bartlett

Hey Friends, I’ve got a little treat for you today.  My fellowed Millennial BSBer, Ashley Bartlett has sent over a hilarious guest blog.  I met Ashley for the first time in Ptown and had a great time listening to her wit and humor.  She’s got tons of attitude but also plenty of smarts all wrapped up in a fresh new voice. Ashley’s debut novel Sex and Skateboards can be purchased at http://www.boldstrokesbooks.com and fine retailers everywhere.   I hope you’ll check her out.  

Now without further ado here’s Ashley’s blog: My First Time.

My first time was with Lee Lynch’s wife. Swear.

I was on the streets of Provincetown when this chick came up to me. She seemed familiar. Something about the smile. Not even the smile, really. The eyes. The way her eyes smiled. People say that. Especially authors. I don’t think I ever knew what they were talking about until right then. Her eyes caught mine and it was like a smile I could feel. Like my blood had been turned to melted chocolate. Serious. The kind of warmth that slows you down and forces you to enjoy it. And real kindness. I knew the second her eye caught mine that, given the opportunity, she would make me chicken soup and grilled cheese, or buy me a beer, or tell me I was an asshole if I needed to hear it, or hug me even if I thought I didn’t want it. All that. One look.

That’s when she asked me. I felt a brief moment of sheer panic. Okay, it was a long moment of panic. ‘Cause I’d never done it before. And this woman with bright, kind eyes wanted me to do it. Just like that. On a street corner. With witnesses no less.

That’s when she introduced herself. I couldn’t decide if that made it better or worse. Lee Lynch’s wife, I figured, had experienced this scene countless times. Would she be appalled at my inexperience? No, a woman with a smile like that wouldn’t judge my shaking, fumbling hands and slow mind. So I asked her to walk me through it (with my most charming smile). She did. In detail. Pointed to the right place. Told me how it was supposed to go. Used those eyes to seduce me into believing I could do it.

I knew I’d have to go for it some time. Probably sooner rather than later. But I thought I would have time to practice. Preferably by myself in a dark room. Maybe I could have watched someone else. Gotten a few pointers. At least then I would have been prepared. At least then I would have known what to expect. But, no. It was time to step up. I couldn’t very well say, “No, I’d like to practice on my own first.”

So I did it. Heart pounding, hands shaking, trying to breathe around that nervous fist in my throat. Right there on Commercial Street in the center of Provincetown. I wanted to be witty, but I was probably inane. She was waiting patiently. So I wrote “Elaine and Lee,” and then something about Provincetown (just like she told me), and the date (also as instructed) followed by a little heart and “Ashley Bartlett.”

And that’s how I signed my first book.

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November 29, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

2 Comments »

  1. This is awesome!

    Comment by Emily Cherin | November 29, 2011 | Reply

  2. […] Rachel Spangler posted Ptown: Day 4 and Guest Blogger: Ashley Bartlett. […]

    Pingback by Link Round Up « The Lesbrary | November 30, 2011 | Reply


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